Did you get to watch last week’s video about lessons from your past? If not, watch it here.
Anyways, onto today’s topic as it is part of the foundation of all relationship advice.
I’m sure you’ve had problems with trust as I spent half my life dealing with this very issue.
Your man is away from you and didn’t call when he said he would so you slowly begin to panic. You go through your head and start to think of everything he could possibly be doing- and most of it is negative. The clock keeps ticking and you start to become enraged imagining him out there up to no good.
It turns out that he fell asleep and he forgot to turn his ringer back on when he got out of work so he didn’t hear your calls.
Your man comes home from work and hops in the shower. How convenient for you that he left his phone right on the kitchen table. You can’t control your problems with trust so why not just snoop around a little?
Do these slightly ring a bell? It’s what most girls with trust issues go through.
You’re pushing your man away when you waste your time feeding off of your trust issues. What you end up doing is thinking about things that aren’t happening and even worse, you may accuse him of something he hasn’t done.
Let me let you in on a little secret that will help you.
If he’s going to do it (hurt you or cheat on you), there’s nothing you can do about it. You have no control over what he does. Haven’t you noticed that when things have gone wrong in your life, there was nothing you could do to stop them? The same goes in a relationship so you might as well give your man the benefit of the doubt. The only thing you can do is be the best person you can in that relationship to lower the chances of problems occurring.
Guys don’t like to feel like you don’t trust them. It only stresses them out and makes them feel like they have to walk on eggshells. They eventually think, “what’s the point of being good when you’re going to be accused of being bad anyways?”
Before I got married, I spent a lot of time worrying about getting cheated on. Then my husband made a great point. He told me that if I keep expecting something to go wrong between us, I’m the one bringing problems. As soon as I stopped worrying about what hadn’t happened, I was stress-free and started to appreciate the fact that I found a man who is loyal to me.
When you have trust issues, you are anticipating something that hasn’t happened and probably wont happen. You just have to have faith. Know that God has your back and if your man wrongs you, you will eventually find out. Knowing that will make your relationship so much better and hopefully one that never ends.
God gave us women a wonderful power called intuition. Most of us don’t make use of this advantage enough. We already have a little voice inside that helps us make decisions. We need to start to listen to it.
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” ~Benjamin Spock
When a man feels trusted, he feels good and confident. He feels like you are his friend. Most important, he feels more proud that you’re his woman and you trust him. You are more appreciated by him. In turn, he will trust you more, feel more attracted to you, and have a deeper bond with you. That is what will make your relationship last.
In closing I’d like to leave you with some food for thought that someone once shared with me. Years ago, I was sitting in the waiting room waiting for my car to get fixed when I got into a deep conversation with an elderly man. He had been married to his wife since he was very young.
He gave me advice that I will keep forever.
He said, “Have you ever held a little chick? If you hold it with your hands around it completely around it covering it, it will feel restrained and go wild trying to free itself. But if you hold it with palms up and hands open, it will stay in your hands calmly. That is how you need to be with the person you love.”
Now the floor goes to you. Have you done things that show that you lack trust? What was the outcome of your actions? Let me know in the comments below!
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