Feeling unworthy. It is one of the most insane feelings that I believe all women struggle with at some point in their lives.
We struggle with it in so many ways. When we want to work a certain job but we’re afraid to take the plunge and apply. When we are in a relationship with someone who we believe is so much better than us. When we compare ourselves to our friends or family members. We compare ourselves to other people, period.
Feeling unworthy is just another phrase for feeling like you’re not good enough. Does that ring a bell? It happens to the best of us. In fact, it happens the most to the best of us because we are constantly our own worst critics. It’s time to give ourselves some credit though.
My definition of feeling unworthy is when you feel like you don’t measure up. You feel like you have failed in some way. You start to believe that you are not good enough for something or someone. There are certain characteristics you have that make you feel insecure about yourself in comparison to others. The feeling of unworthiness really comes from the idea that we have to achieve perfection. Really, no one is and ever will be perfect. I bet if you ask yourself, “what would it take for me to feel completely satisfied with myself”, you would not really have an exact answer for it.
Who it affects
Unworthiness affects you and your peers in many ways. It affects you the most because you are constantly beating yourself up inside and feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t measure up. Maybe you don’t measure up to certain people or a job. You may feel like you’re not good enough for your man. Just so you know, you are good enough or he wouldn’t have picked you. This will affect him if you continue to feel that way. This feeling you have also affects your friends and family members because you may make them feel uncomfortable when you don’t feel good about yourself. Sometimes, you may get it to the point that you draw people away.
How it affects you and others
The fact that you are always feeling like you’re not good enough or you don’t measure up is really negatively affecting your relationships. The fact that you don’t feel like you’re good enough for your man is making you madly jealous, insecure, and downright annoying. Men don’t like that. You also don’t deserve to make yourself feel that way.
Your friends don’t like your insecurity either. You talk about how much of a failure you are or how much you suck. Or you just mope around feeling insecure and being miserable because you hate yourself. Its no way to live and in time, you will isolate yourself. The only friends you’ll get out of it are those who are in your same boat. You don’t want that.
Looking into the future
If you continue feeling unworthy or sorry for yourself for different reasons, you are looking at a pretty miserable future. The thoughts you carry about yourself are the ones you will bring to reality. If you don’t want your man to feel turned off and turned away, be confident in who you are. Even if you don’t feel confident. If you feel ugly all the time, start to take pride in your appearance. Trust me, if you spend a little time on yourself, you’ll feel good.
Now, look in the mirror and start telling yourself you love yourself. Start to turn those negative thoughts into positive ones.
A little assignment.
Take a piece of paper and write down all of the negative thoughts you carry about yourself. Think about all the things you say in your head when you are feeling sorry for yourself. Think about why you feel that way. Maybe something happened in the past that stuck with you. Write your thoughts down. Try to write at least five. When you’re done, I want you to turn those five thoughts into positive phrases. For example:
Negative: I’m hate the way I look.
Positive: God made me perfect in his eyes.
Negative: I don’t know why my man is with me. He’s too good for me.
Positive: He is with me because he thinks I’m perfect for him. He’s actually pretty lucky to have me
Now every day I want you to practice turning any negative thoughts immediately into positive ones. Nip those unworthy lies right in the bud. They are lies. Start to believe that. Forgive yourself for whatever happened in the past that makes you feel that way. You’ll see your life turn around. Remember, you reap what you sow. In other words, you get back what you put into things. If you think positive, you get positive. If you surround yourself by positive, you will start to feel positive.
As a final thought, always remember that you are an amazing woman, perfectly made. No matter what you think, there’s something special about you. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or what you’ve been through, you were not a mistake. Believe that and always strive to make every day better. There’s no one in this world that can tell you different. You are not unworthy of anything or anyone.
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To our success,